Beautiful
by Kamikazee
Summary: Season 3, post-Bad Girls, Faith reflects on Buffy. SONGFIC


Beautiful  
(Joydrop)  
  
Author: Kamikazee  
  
Email: neo_kamikazee@hotmail.com  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Warnings: Only warnings about Faith's twisted psyche.  
  
Category: BtVS  
  
Spoilers: Season 3, Bad Girls  
  
Summary: Faith reflects on Buffy.  
  
Archive: Personal Space, Fanfiction.net, anyone else please e-mail the URL and I'd be happy to let you post it.  
  
Author's Notes: This one's a little darker than usual, but I like the mood it creates.  
  
Disclaimer: All of the characters and plot borrowed from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
~  
  
i If I was beautiful like you Oh the things I would do Those not so blessed would be crying out murder And I'd just laugh and get away with it too Like you do /i  
  
I don't see what the big deal is. I admit, I made a mistake, but, hey, that happens. It can't be the first time, and it probably won't be the last. But, no, she can't see it that way. She has to be righteous, tell me that what I did was wrong.  
  
Like I don't know that already.  
  
I'm sorry about the guy. It's not like he wasn't a black hat anyway, right? He was a bad guy. I could've done worse, and killed someone who was innocent.  
  
That's right. He was evil. There's no shame in what I did.  
  
I If I was beautiful like you I would never be at fault I'd walk in the rain between the raindrops Bringing traffic to a halt /I  
  
Perfect Buffy doesn't see it that way. I killed a human. It's wrong. I have to turn myself into the police, accept whatever punishment they have to give me.  
  
She's wrong. I don't have to do anything. I'm a slayer, I'm above the law. I don't have to do anything I don't want to do.  
  
She doesn't know anything. She doesn't know what it's like to be me. The world revolves around Buffy Summers, and if you don't watch out, you'll get sucked in as well.  
  
I But that would never be Never, never be Cause I'm not beautiful like you I'm beautiful like me, I'm beautiful like me /I  
  
Everybody wants me to be Buffy. Well, I'm never going to be Buffy, because she's not who I am. I am Faith.  
  
But, they don't look at me and see Faith. They look at me and see all the ways I don't compare to Buffy. All the things that make me bad compared to Buffy.  
  
I'll never be as great as Buffy in their eyes. I'll never hold a hair to Buffy in their eyes. Faith just isn't enough for anyone but me.  
  
I If I was beautiful like you I'd be quick to assume They'd do anything to please me, why not I see their reaction when you walk into the room /I  
  
What's so great about Buffy anyway? Why do they all love Buffy? Why do they all want to be around Buffy?  
  
I've seen the way she looks at them, like a human humouring a dog. A dog that she knows is so loyal it will die for her. They don't even notice that she looks at them like that.  
  
They only see what they want to see. The perfect friend. The perfect girl. The perfect slayer.  
  
I But that would never be Never, never, never be Cause I'm not beautiful like you I'm beautiful like me, beautiful like me Beautiful, beautiful like me Like me, Like me... /I  
  
I'm not perfect. But, then again, neither she. Because I see through her, I see all the faults that no one else bothers to look for. If it's the last thing I do, I'm going to expose those faults.  
  
When I expose those faults, she'll lose everything. They won't look at her like that anymore, they'll see the real Buffy, the Buffy that I see. Then we'll see how she deals.  
  
She'll be just like me then, B. Alone. All by herself, with no one to worship the ground she walks on. The way she deserves to be.  
  
I If I was beautiful like you I'd have so many friends All fighting for my time to be next in line So if I hurt one, I wouldn't have to make amends /I  
  
She won't have all those friends of hers. I'm going to take them all away from her. I'm going to make them all hate her like she's made them hate me. I'll show her the way things are supposed to be.  
  
They were supposed to be my friends anyway. Willow. Xander. Even Cordelia. She took everything I was supposed to have, everything that I will have. She doesn't deserve them anyway; with the way she treats them.  
  
I've seen it. She knocks them down, hurts them, controls them. She doesn't need to fix the hurt she caused; it's not like there's not another one waiting in line.  
  
I But that would never be Never, never, never be Cause I'm not beautful like you I'm not beautiful like you I'm not beautiful like you I'm beautiful like me I'm Beautiful like me, beautiful like me I'm beautiful like me, I'm beautiful like me! /I  
  
I'm going to take everything from her. Because she's just as flawed as the rest of us, and I'm going to prove it. I'm going to destroy her and take everything she holds close, everything that makes her feel like she's worth anything.  
  
I'll prove to her that I am worth something. I am better than her.  
  
Watch your back, B, because I'll be there, waiting. 


End file.
